Ha, that title doe. I have felt a lot of moments this week where I have questioned both my faith and my worth in life. I have felt really unworthy. Suckish, I know. I don't even know why. I just have told myself the past couple weeks who could love me. What a negative attitude. I needed support from my community, though, so I prayed for a soft heart, that would feel the Father's love. I just couldn't. I just couldn't feel the love of my Father for some reason. I kept trying and I kept seeking it. I dove into scripture and quiet times with my Lord but nothing. Why, was this? I didn't know until I finally knew truth, as weird as that sounds. Sometimes, we're not loved by people we love and sometimes we don't love people that love us. This concept seemed so insignificant to me until I felt it a couple of weeks ago. I felt really unloved and unwanted. I felt worthless. After many confusing nights battling with my emotions I took a step back and realized I needed to confront my demons. I needed clarity and truth. I needed my Father. I didn't know where to look for Him after feeling very unworthy of anyone's love. Until, I had breakfast with my good friend TJ who spoke truth to me, I presume directly from the Father, honestly. He said to me, after I was wallowing in my self pity, "Cassie, you know who does like you a whole lot?" I, of course said, "Who?" He says, "Jesus, that's who!" Man is He so right. I had been so consumed with feeling unloved by people around me and feeling ignored that I didn't even think about who loved me first, and continues to love me every stinkin' day no matter how much I mess up. Jesus gave everything to love me. When I came to terms with this, yet again, this week, I realized that I have so much worth in the Lord and I can feel that divine love every single day. What a blessing that is, to know His love is so unconditional.
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June 2017
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