I've been asked a lot of questions lately. Life questions. Questions that scare the poop outta me. I don't really know where I want to go next year. I don't know what I really want to do with my life. I know there are a ton of possibilities, I am just afraid to leave this life that I feel like has just started here in Eau Claire. This place has been my home for the past four years and I don't know what I'm going to do next year when I may be placed in a new place for student teaching. I am terrified and excited all at the same time. I don't want to leave this life I have started in Eau Claire but then again I don't feel held back. Yes, I will miss my friends next year, but I will make more and keep old ones. I am excited to see what adventure the Lord is going to take me on this summer as well. I am terrified but life is terrifying, that doesn't mean we aren't supposed to live it. I think something I have been learning lately is to take risks and who knows what will happen. I think it is okay to take risks in life because if we don't take these risks then we could be missing out on what is right in front of us. Lately, I haven't been taking the necessary risks or leaps of faith that I need to dive into this crazy thing called life. I have been shutting people out because sometimes it just seems easier... Should I be shutting them out or letting them in? Another huge life question. Along with, am I surrounding myself with the right people? Some, I would say definitely yes, but others, maybe not so much. That is where my life has been getting real. I am trying to decide who to let in to my crazy adventure I call, life, and who to avoid. I wish life were simple, but then again I guess I don't. Life is something I look forward to living and if it were simple then it wouldn't be an adventure.
I wanna take an adventure into this mysterious thing I call, life. I'm ready to live it, too.
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So I work at the school cafeteria and I have had some pretty great times working there. Here is a list of some things that I enjoy about the caf:
Dishroom:
It keeps me humble and puts money in the bank. I have had the opportunity lately to learn a little about living in the light. It has me left with a lot of questions that I don't really know the answer to. I'm constantly asking myself, Am I living in the Light? I know there are instances where I am in the darkness. Does that mean I am not living in the light? Am I letting the darkness consume my light, how about in my heart? I had a lot of these questions during bible study prep last week, and man do I still have all of them. I was feeling pretty icky and I didn't really know where that put my light. Trying to investigate more into this concept of living in the light, I found that my heart is in the light, or it wants so badly to be, but sometimes my mind tells it not to. God is light as it says in 1 John. John says that God is light and living for Him is what keeps us in the light. But, what happens when you stray away from God? I know I have strayed away more than once. Does that mean I am living in darkness? I don't really have an answer to that. Not a 100% correct answer anyway because I don't really know if there is one. I feel like a placement of light and dark has 100% to do with your heart though. I am constantly asking myself where my heart is at. Am I seeking after the light that will light the darkness of this corrupt and unjust world? This question has dawned on me a lot lately simply because I know when I choose darkness and sometimes I want to. I know where darkness lies in my life, it has taken a lot of great things from my life and sucked them dry. These things that I valued, I didn't really find myself valuing anymore. I gave up on those things, so to speak. The darkness is a twisted place that can wrap you up like a cocoon and entrap you for months. I have felt trapped by this darkness time and time again. I find myself at the bottom of a well trying to claw my way out before I drown. This is what the corruption of the world does to us, my friends. There are several things in this world that draw us to the darkness and we find ourselves at the bottom of a well trying to get out. I know I want my heart to faithfully seek the Lord, but is my heart really doing so? Something I have been realizing more and more through this study on the light and dark is that although I stray away from my Creator, He is still there at that well with a rope in His hand waiting to throw it down to me, when He knows I am ready to receive it. Christ and those I surround myself with are always there to pull me out of the darkness. Darkness can be a thing that can consume us if we let it, but I choose not to allow this darkness consume my heart any longer.
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Let us Seek the Grandest Adventures Together my Friend.
I heard the roar of the lion of Judah Archives
June 2017
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