I want so badly to rejoice in that Jesus Christ has been born this year but I find myself not being very cheery. I don't want to be joyful. I hate that. Holidays have always been hard for my family since my grandpa left us 15 years ago. Now, that we are older they are filled with drinking and eating and Jesus seems so absent in all of it. I don't like that. I've tried so hard this past year to be 100% committed to my Father God and I've done well but even today I have struggled. I have missed the real meaning of Christmas. I think most individuals do. They focus on the worldly view of what Christmas should be and forget the whole purpose of Christmas. I think that is why I get so bogged down by the hussle and bustle of what Christmas should mean. I want to do Christmas better this year but I feel like it is too late. How do I go about being jolly when there is so much destruction going on in the world, my family, and my city?
I suppose I need to rely on God more than ever during this time. So that I may feel the joy of the season. Hardships will always be upon us. We need to seek out the good to overcome them.
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One year ago today, I graduated from college. WOW! What an accomplishment. Truly, though. Like I was walking around today and feeling strength knowing I have been out of college one whole year today already. God has really given me a sense of awareness this past year. I've been more aware of my surroundings - the people around me and how they affect who I am as a person, my home and how that affects me, and where I work. I think these three things God has spoken to me a lot about this past year with just coming to know the comfort that is Him. I mean, my life is far from perfect and you know what it is not supposed to be. I feel like a huge expectation when you have a bachelors degree is that you should be making the big bucks somewhere fancy pancy. Well, since college I have struggled financially and it has been painful and frustrating but God wants me in this place, I think. God doesn't want me to struggle all the time, no, but God wants me to feel a dependence on Him. I truly feel closer to God than I ever have in my life. He has shown me miraculous things this past year that I may never have seen if I was comfortable. When we are comfortable we often think we can do this life on our own. I know I have struggled with this several times in the past. Wanting to be the ruler of my own life. Well you guys, let me just tell ya how stupid that is. We cannot and should not want to do life on our own. It is physically draining and mentally unstable. I believe God wants us to depend on Him for everything. Whether it be that small crush you have that is taking over your mind - GIVE IT TO HIM! Or that job interview that didn't go so well - GIVE IT TO HIM! Or the rejection letter after rejection letter from countless places - GIVE IT TO HIM! I just really feel that since I've literally given everything to Him I'm not worried about them anymore because I know that God has already created a plan for them. So, I encourage you to give even the littlest of things to God. He might surprise your outcome and bring more Glory to the situation than you ever could have imagined.
There are so many freedoms to be thankful for. In the past I have been so pinned down by things of this world I never really realized how free I truly am. Today, I stand out in freedom to break old habits and drink in good ones. I have felt this freedom wash over me a lot lately. It's been a peaceful past couple of months and it motivates me to keep going. I'm glad God has gifted me with this newly found freedom. I feel like my old self is gone and my new self is taking shape. I'm not worried about anything. I have rid myself of anxiety and stress. I've also really focused in to the hope and truth that is in Jesus. So, my hope for you today is that you can feel free. That you can dance in your bedroom or dormroom and be giddy because Jesus is alive and well. Let's feel the freedom we have, friends, and really drink it in like a big ol' cup of joe. Celebrate!! God is present and moving in each of our lives - all the time!!
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I heard the roar of the lion of Judah Archives
June 2017
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