Hello dearest friends that have been hoping for a post sometime from me. HA well here it is, finally :)
I have been a little MIA lately and let me tell ya why. Because I have not been the happiest of campers and I have not felt much joy in the past month or so. No excuse for not being real with my readers, I know that. I am working on being real. I used to think being real and wearing my heart on my sleeve was something that I was good at. Now, I'm not so sure. There is one thing I am absolutely, positively sure of, though, and that my friends is Jesus' unfathomable love for me and presence in my life. God is constantly reminding me that there is joy in the morning. A really great song that my church has been singing lately has the lyrics, "Though there is pain in the night, there is JOY in the morning." Man is that quote so true in my life. (disclaimer: I have literally tried searching 1000 times to find this song online but I can't find it, so if you do - send me the link. lol) My nights are hard. I come home after working with students all day (some better than others) and feel exhausted. I come home after working with students all day and feel like I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. I come home and feel empty. I come home and get treated poorly and watch people I love get treated horribly. I come home from working all day and watch too much Netflix and don't read enough of my Bible. I come home to sorrow and emptiness. I come home and sit in my room until I go to bed. Silence. Defeat. Pain. There is pain in the night. So much pain from all that I have been feeling that day. I don't even know where it comes from to be honest. I have a good life. I shouldn't be in this much pain. Then, God whispers in my ear, several a times, "Cassie, I love you and I am here." GOD IS HERE! He is present and He is NEVER leaving me!! That is one of the most affirming things I can remind myself and I have. Even on the darkest of days, God is there. The Lord has been teaching me that life on this Earth may not be easy and there may be pain in the night but there is JOY in the morning! The pain may be there but God can, and will, erase it! He says it is finished and He makes me complete. I know this to be true through the people God has blessed me with. like... ...Lynita who calls me to make sure I'm doing alright. ...my sister, Mir, who makes me laugh and forget about the crappy situations. ...Alexi who remembers my birthday and wishes me well a week in advance. ...Claire who constantly shows me an example of what it looks like to make decisions with Christ and for Christ, not against Him. ...Cory who understands what I'm going through and loves me well. ...The women at Sisterhood who pray for me and continue to lift me up when I'm feeling down. ...Samantha who loves me well and welcomes me into the community of River Valley ...my brother, Luke, who cries with me when things are tough because he genuinely cares for me. ...both of the Jasons who are always there for me if I need them. ...Katie, my dog, who comforts me when I am sad. So what I am trying to say is that although there is pain in our lives we should not let it consume us. Easier said than done, I know. One thing I have been telling myself everyday is that God's love for me is more than I can imagine and definitely makes up for all of the hate and destruction of this world. Our world is broken but aren't we all. I sure know that I am broken but don't you think it is time to start letting God heal me and all of us. God can heal even the most broken of hearts my friends. It's time to let Him in and let Him do what He does best - love us.
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June 2017
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