I've been really bitter lately about my friendships and that really stinks. I feel like a whinny brat most of the time because I don't feel like anyone wants to be my friend. All I do is put out effort after effort to get together with my friends or even talk to them with barely a response. It's really exhausting always putting myself out there. I am continually trying to pour into these friendships that don't really exist anymore. I don't even know why that is. Why don't people want to hang out with me? What is wrong with me? Probably nothing but then I've been sinking into the feeling that something is wrong with me, as always. Why do I do that? I know my identity in Christ and I know He thinks much differently about me than I think about myself. I've really been struggling to find friends and keep them, my whole life, actually.
That's all I have for you guys. Sorry I'm being a big crab. I hope God teaches me something from this feeling of inadequacy. Also, I might go MIA on social media again. I've been intensely comparing myself to others and their friendships and having pretty bad FOMO (lol I'm a teen).
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June 2017
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